Jennifer Love Hewitt Fancy Box: October 2014

So once again it’s time for my Jennifer Love Hewitt Fancy Box.
I typically get this box in the last couple days of a month, which means this is probably everyone else’s November box, but since they screwed up this sub for me so many times, this is my October. I know it’s confusing, Welcome to Fancy.

Notably missing from my box is the pamphlet that explains what’s inside and why our celeb curator included it. I emailed Fancy to ask about it and was told the following:
“In regards to the ‘brochure’, as part of Fancy’s initiative to be more green and adapt more eco-conscious practices, we have stopped including inserts in all of Fancy Boxes. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause..”

Look at the box we receive..every month…when you could usually fit the contents of the box into one a third of the size. Also, the gigantic point of having a celeb curated box is to know why they chose these items, otherwise it’s a clusterfuck of randomness. In this case “eco-friendly” is being used to replace lazy and it makes me angry. There is no reason they can’t do a digital brochure.

So since I have no idea why J Love will have included the following items, I decided to include my own random guesses for the reasoning. Please feel free to add your own guesses in the comments. It can be like our own Jennifer Love Hewitt guessing game.

The Color Me Good Kate Coloring Book (Fancy Retail: $12 Current Sale Price: $9)
Verdict: Um..well maybe you could..uh….I got nothing
Lisa’s Guess at J. Love’s Reasoning: “Kate Moss once called me fat and now I enjoy drawing on her face.”
Maybe it’s cause I’m old that I don’t understand all this hipster stuff. Why do I want to color (colour) Kate Moss? Anyone? I’m guessing this is British since they use “colour” so maybe it is a random British thing to have celebrity coloring books for former super models? Is it just some kind of 90s nostalgia? It’s like a inside joke that doesn’t include me. Maybe if this was a bigger celebrity it might be slightly more interesting?

You’re Beautiful Cards (Fancy Retail: $10 Current Sale Price: $5)
Verdict: I bet Bill Cosby carries these around
Lisa’s Guess at J. Love’s Reasoning: “People are so afraid to approach me and tell me of my endless beauty so these cards are a perfect way for them to tell me without actually having to talk. It’s a win win for everyone.”
I swear I am not a cold-hearted bitch (at least not most of the time) and I think it’s a lovely idea to tell people they are beautiful – especially if you mean for who they are inside, but who the hell on earth is actually going to use these?  The only way I could think of this in a non-creeptastic way is to just leave the cards for people anonymously–like a nice little random-act-of-kindness. But the Fancy description totally negates that idea: “Play your cards right and you could land the woman of your dreams. (There’s also plenty of room on the back for a phone number…)”. So using my uber powerful Sherlockian deductive skills it appears the sole purpose of these cards is picking up those pretty ladies. . So are you dying to date that random weirdo Prince Charming who is both too shy to speak to you and too boring to think of anything personal or creative to say? They  also can’t write this on a regular card or piece of paper because they must keep a stack in their pocket, like business cards, so they can pass them out to any lady that passes the appropriate beauty standard. It’s just a recipe for true love.

 

Sweater Cup and Saucer (Fancy Retail: $14 Current Sale Price: $7)
Verdict: Gift
Lisa’s Guess at J. Love’s Reasoning: “I drink tea, so tea cups are cool and this one has a sweater print which works for Fall. Plus Fancy had some extra of these.”
Hey at least this one isn’t weird or offensive. It’s just a bit dull. It is a nice gift if you know someone who likes to use different cups or silverware (sort of that shabby chic vibe). I have a set of cup and saucers that I already love and use, so I’ll be adding this to a tea gift.

Playful Polka Dot Sheer Tights (Fancy Retail: $12 Current Sale Price: $11.40)
Verdict: What about the girls who are all about that base?
Lisa’s Guess at J. Love’s Reasoning: “Everyone wears tights and no one is over a size 12, right?”
I hate “one size fits most” bullshit. Tiny people have too much space, large people can’t breathe and the 5 people who are mediums have too many of these to wear since all the tiny and large people gave them their tights. Instead of tights what about some thigh highs? The odds of fitting are so much better and they are a bit more unique. I’m not entirely sure I’ve linked to the right item because I have no info card to tell me the brand or the exact link, so this is my best guess.


Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo Powder (Fancy Retail: $21 Current Sale Price: $10.50)
Verdict: Ooops, I did it again..
Lisa’s Guess at J. Love’s Reasoning: “I know I sent you a travel size dry shampoo before, but I have really oily hair and maybe you do too, so here’s a big size.  Have fun.”
I’ve already received this exact item in a regular Fancy box and J Love has included dry shampoo (in a different brand and size) in a previous box as well. Putting aside the fact that this is a dupe, I associate dry shampoo more with warmer weather and I’d have rather seen a moisturizer or lip balm. I contacted Fancy about the dupe and they gave me $10 of Fancy credit.

 

Chatham Globe Vase by Two’s Company (Fancy Retail: $15 Current Sale Price: $7.50)
Verdict: Hit!
Lisa’s Guess at J. Love’s Reasoning: “I love flowers! Here’s a vase.”
I actually love this cute little globe vase because it’s versatile. You can use it as a candy dish or to store paperclips or other office supplies. I love multi-purpose pieces and I’m sure I can do something cute with this for Christmas.

OVERALL

Verdict: Oh Fancy…There are so many things wrong with this that a $15 vase can’t fix.

 There is no theme or logic I can see in this box beyond, “This is the crap Fancy had in overstock and needed to get rid of”. I chose the Jennifer Love Hewitt box because I wanted to see *her* choices, but without the brochure  it just looks like a bunch of random junk.  I would like to think that with an insert, these choices would make more sense, but they are pretty terrible so perhaps not.

This month was a pretty epic fail on Fancy’s part.  I don’t understand the beautiful cards at all—they are borderline offensive and a completely inappropriate choice for a *woman’s* subscription box. The Kate Moss book is stupid, unless for some reason you love (or hate) Kate Moss. The cup and dry shampoo are boring and the tights are not practical.  The only saving grace was an inexpensive vase that is not enough to carry this box.

Luckily I had a credit on my account so I only spent $30.95 to get a bunch of junk and a cool little vase. According to my math skills, Fancy tallies this box up at a retail value of $84, but right now all these items are on sale so you could purchase this oh, so wonderful box at $50.40.

Because I have that $10 Fancy credit I am going to stick around for one more box, but it is looking like the next one will be my last (for at least awhile). Fancy has always had a poor track record when it comes to consistency, but I’m most annoyed by the brochure issue. I want to know about these products and I don’t want to have to do a ton of work for it.  I ordered a celebrity box and I want to hear from the celebrity about the stuff inside. While Quarterly’s boxes are not always up to par, their notes inside their curated boxes are wonderful and Fancy could learn something from them.

So what did you think of this box?
Do you see a theme here beyond “random crap”? Any guesses as to why J Love wants us to draw on Kate Moss’ face?

 THE BACKSTORY

Fancy Box is a monthly subscription service that curates items that are popular on the Fancy website. There are a few different subscription options. They all cost $39 (unless otherwise noted) plus shipping (an additional $7.95).

#1 –Fancy box (Original)
This box features a collection of some of the most fancy’d items, curated by the fancy community. Each box includes $80.00+ of products in the categories of your choice.
The categories you can choose from include: Men’s, Women’s, Kid’s, Home, Gadgets & Media. It also lets you customize your Tshirt size and your cell phone type.

#2 Fancy Food Box
Each Fancy Food Box includes five or more food products – anything from cookies and chocolates to teas and sauces – along with a selection of tasty recipes and pairing suggestions.

#3 Celebrity Curated Fancy Box
Each box includes $80.00+ of products. Most boxes are geared toward men or women though they do include unisex items.

They include:

• Verbal Fancy Box
• Cocha Rocha Fancy Box
• Jennifer Love Hewitt Box
• Kelly Rowland Box
• Snoop Doggy Dog Box (This box is $42 before shipping)
• T-Pain Box
• Nicky Hilton Box
• Isaac Mizrahi Box
• The Rockettes Box  #4 New Mystery Boxes!
  You’ll receive $30+ retail value worth of goods. Just pick an option, Men’s or Women’s, and they’ll pick out some items that tickle your Fancy. Cost is $10 plus shipping (estimated 7.95).

#5 Culinary Fancy Box!
Get a collection of the best home goods hand-picked by our Fancy curators each month. Each box includes $80.00+ of products.

 

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