Birchbox: February 2015

So my February Birchbox arrived quite late due to weather and a slight billing snafu with my card.  For security reasons my card had to be reissued with a new number and it happened right before Birchbox billing so the charge didn’t go through. I got an email from Birchbox about the problem and within a couple hours of sending the email I corrected the problem. If you’re familiar with Birchbox you know that they offer their members the option of choosing one sample for their box or selecting a curated box. Unfortunately my billing issue somehow negated my sample choice and as punishment I received this terrible box (sorry for the spoilers). Birchbox customer service was however awesome as usual and did manage to scrounge up my sample choice (the sea salt spray)and send it out to me separately.

So now let’s get to this box.

Like so many things with a cheerful exterior, this one harbored much sadness within.

Marcelle Gentle Eye Make-Up Remover For Sensitive Eyes
(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: “Hypoallergenic formula that’s tough on even long-lasting makeup, but gentle on the eyes.”
Verdict: Miss/Gift
This was one of our sample choices. One that I didn’t choose. But I assume that my payment snafu means that my punishment was getting all the leftover samples no one else wanted. Now this is a good size sample, but I don’t use eye makeup removers because they are typically drying and not very effective. Instead, I use an oil cleanser. They easily dissolve even the most hardcore mascara and eyeliner while still keeping your skin hydrated. I can’t recommend them enough.

theBalm® cosmetics Read My Lips™ Lip Gloss in BAM!
(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: “Fortified with antioxidant-rich ginseng, this gloss imparts rich color and loads of shine.”
Verdict: Miss/Gift
Oh look it’s another of the sample choices that I didn’t choose (from the curated box). Normally I like makeup samples but I feel like I keep getting these same type of glosses over and over. I’ve got so many lip products so I’m just going to pass this along to a friend.

derma e® Anti-Wrinkle Vitamin A Glycolic Scrub
(Full Size: $12.75)
Description: “This all-natural cleanser sloughs off dull ksin, fades dark spots, and cleans pores.”
Verdict: Goddamn it Birchbox, I got the point.
Three for three on the “samples I didn’t choose because I don’t really want them”. This was another one in the curated box. I actually don’t mind this one as much as the others because I do use face scrubs, but I have a ton and this just isn’t that interesting to me.

Proper Bar Soap Elderflower
(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: ”This French-milled soap hydrates skin with she and olive oils as it cleanses.”
Verdict: Wow, it gets worse
Thanks for the free hotel soap. Wait, this might actually be smaller than the soap hotels give you for free. Seriously, what the hell? If you’re going to put in bar soap at least make them a decent size. The scent on this sounds nice but I have plenty of full size bar soap and this is just too chintzy to even give someone.

BeeKind™ Conditioner
(Full Size: $15.00)
Description: ”This gentle formula, made with honey and organic calendula softens hari and ups shine.”
Verdict: Go home Birchbox, you’re drunk
You know what will go great with our free hotel soap? A foil packet. Just one. Oh and not for shampoo, just for conditioner. What do you mean your hair is dirty? Just scrub it with the hotel soap and then use this foil packet.

OVERALL

Verdict: You win Birchbox.
I do solemnly swear that I will never, ever, ever, did I say EVER?, let my billing info get screwed up again.
Pinky swear.  So we’re cool now, right?

This is by far the worst Birchbox I’ve ever received. I know some of you will probably like the bigger samples, but they were all things I didn’t choose because I don’t use them or already have too many. The soap and foil packet are pretty ridiculous and should only be included as extras.

I paid $10.70 for this box and couldn’t use or hated everything. I reviewed all the items so I received $5 worth of Birchbox points, which is the only saving grace. I didn’t select a sample for March, so it will be a total surprise box.   I did snag a Birchbox plus item so there’s at least one thing I’ll like in the box.  Be sure to come back and see if I got yet another Shampoo/Conditioner or lip gloss.  Hell, maybe the next one will include one of those free hotel toiletry kits.

What did you get in your Birchbox this month? Did you get an foil packets or super tiny samples?

THE BACKSTORY

Birchbox subscriptions cost $10 per month or $110 per year (Women’s Sub)
$20 per month or $195 per year (Men’s Sub)

Points System:
Whenever you buy something at Birchbox they give you Birchbox points. $1.00 = 1 Birchbox Point.
Each 100 Birchbox reward points can be redeemed for $10.00.
You can also earn points by reviewing the samples they send you (10 points per sample) and referring/subscribing friends.

Author: Writer Preziosi

Once upon a time, long, long ago, Lisa attended Syracuse University where she studied singing in a giant castle surrounded by ice and snow. After she earned her music degree, she headed to the island of Manhattan, down to the West Village, to a place called the New School. There, she earned another degree in the great art of writing stories for children. She currently works on that same island trying to help real people, while making up stories about imaginary ones. Her first book, “The Ice Maiden’s Tale,” a fairy tale adventure, was released on May 30, 2017 and is up for sale on Amazon. View all posts by Writer Preziosi